Definition of a Writer

Shall I call myself a writer? I have thought of myself as a writer since I was too young to be considered one. Even though I did so, I believe it was out of desire instead of the analysis of my reality.

To solve the enigma, the first question that shall be asked is: what constitutes a writer? We may all be writers if the definition takes only the ability to write in consideration. However, I must consider it more than someone who can write.

If it should be a person who earns an income with their writings, I would also be considered a writer. However, this possibility leaves me questioning if everyone who earns an income in such a way is a writer and if every writer gets to do so.

I am left to think that being a writer is indeed a question of desire and even need. This possibility was brought to my attention through the years from the words of various authors. Most recently, it was Rebel in the Rye, a biographical movie about J. D. Salinger, that consolidated the theory.

Words are what I love. I am passionate about playing with them and forming sentences, paragraphs and, ultimately, a story. Telling the truth but disguise it as fiction. Move someone. Truly disrupt the immobility.

Am I writer? After this reflection, there is no other possible conclusion than to admit I am. Under whichever light you want to paint it, I shall be considered a writer.

 

Women with Shaved Hair

I have wanted to shave my hair for years but did not get around to do it until a few months ago. The reason behind the delay was other people's opinions. I do not find that a good enough reason to decide what to do with my hair.

Even if I were a boy, there were going to be people around me trying to stop me from shaving my hair. However, being a girl, people felt more entitled to do so. As I grew up, I did not meet one single woman who had shaved hair. The only woman I knew that rocked her shaved hair was Sinéad O'Connor. She was definitely a role model in this aspect. No one of my family and friends seemed to agree it was a look that could work for women as well as men.

Whenever I saw a woman with shaved hair on the street, someone would say she was probably sick. When you are a child and your parents and friends tell you something like that, you will believe them, even if it does not make much sense. When I first told a boyfriend I was going to shave my hair, his response was people were going to think I had cancer (do not worry. I am not dating him anymore).

As years went by, my desire of having shaved hair did not go away. As my confidence grew, my value became less susceptible of other people's opinions. That was how I managed to achieve the look I have wanted for the longest time. Confidence is the fuel that leads me to change my lifestyle in order to better fit my beliefs.

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Two Weeks in Ireland

This is my third week living in Ireland. I moved here from Portugal in order to follow my dreams and be where I feel best. It has been everything I wished it to be.

My days here are mostly spent writing. I am currently working as a freelance writer and there is no doubt that this is a job I will not be leaving in the future. Even if I can't turn it into my full-time job (I hope I can), it is something that gives me joy.

Living with someone and caring for each other is a new experience for both of us. We are still figuring some details out. Alone time has not been so much of an issue as I thought it would be.

I am not going to lie to you and say that the whole experience has been perfect. It has not. There have been arguments that are in the process of being solved and I do not have enough work in order to cover my current expenses. It does not mean this move has not been everything I hoped it would be though.

I am glad I moved here. It is good to follow your guts. Even if I do go back to Portugal or move to another place, I created great memories here and I learned much more than I would have if I had stayed in the same old place.

 

Moving to Ireland

I am a 22 year-old Portuguese girl currently working in three jobs while living with her parents in Portugal. Being a proud independent woman, this is not the situation I picture when I think about where in life I would like to be. The fact is that this is a temporary situation that goes on since about six months ago due to my need to earn money. The goal has been to move to Ireland since I took the road trip around Ireland.

I was supposed to move to Ireland in June 2018 but I can’t wait that long. Even though I like being close to my parents, I do not like to live with them since I seem to be unable to be independent here.

The initial planned date was June 2018 for a reason. The process for me to be recognized as a Physiotherapist in Ireland takes time and resources. Even assuming the answer is positive, it will not be finished until three or four months from now. Moving to Ireland in March 2018, I will not be able to work as a Physiotherapist right away. This little bump is the reason why I am currently trying to find an unrelated job to start earning money right since the moment I land in the beautiful island.

I will be living in Hector’s house, which will help me settling in. I still need to pack all my stuff and solve some unresolved issues here in Portugal. At least I already resigned from all my jobs. I do not feel I have too much to do before moving, which is why I feel happy as opposed to overwhelmed.

I fell in love with Ireland and I can’t wait to be there!

Am I Anxious All The Time?

It crossed my mind as I was standing in a social situation. I was not feeling anxious but I was moving my hands in a way that definitely implied I was. Not only that, I could not speak properly. I then realized that happens to me very often. Is it that I am anxious all the time  and because of that I do not notice it anymore? Does the same happens when it comes to depressive symptoms? Am I so numb that when I feel happy I am not happy at all? Are peace and happiness two feelings I do not know yet? Am I compromising? Even though I think that may be what is happening there is no way for me to be sure.

I Have Time

One lie I often say is “I don’t have enough time”. It is not that I am willingly lying. I often feel that is true.

I have time in my hands. I need to sleep 8 hours per day and I can’t cut on that for many days straight. I spend about 7 hours in my internship. I am very fortunate. Adding those it sums up to 15 hours. Those are not the problem. The problem is what I do with the 9 hours I am left with.

There are always ways to reduce the amount of hours spent getting ready for work and cooking and eating. It helps finding which schedule works and sticking with it. There are all sorts of changes we can do in order to save time. The question is: why do we struggle so much?

Motivation is what is missing. I do not always feel motivated to change in order to save time for things I enjoy. I do not know why that is. Is it because I do not like those things that much or is it because I am generally lacking motivation? Am I simply lazy?

I have time. I am not managing it so well.

Pile of Thoughts

It feels like the pile of things to do will never be gone. I just finished an assignment and there is already one more in line. There is not time to focus on other things I enjoy apart from Physiotherapy. Even though I do enjoy Physiotherapy, I would love to be able to read, to write, to listen to music, to watch movies, to play video games. What usually happens is that I do all those things while I should be doing Physiotherapy related assignments. I am never happy and relaxed while I am doing them though. I know this happens to other people as well and I wish we would simply have more free time. It is a social issue. There is not enough time to focus on family and friends. There is not enough time to follow other passions. We may have several of them and we should manage to pursue several. There is not enough time.

Cat Day is more important than Pangolin Day

Do not get me wrong. I like that there is a day when people celebrate their love for cats. That is positive and I embrace everything that makes people happy without harming others.

However, as someone who fights in order to reduce as much as possible the harm inflicted on others and on Earth, I can’t help feeling yesterday was a very small step towards peace between animals. That would be the main goal of this kind of special days.

Today is Pangolin day and I am sure this will be another of those that go by without people noticing. Fortunately, pangolins are usually not a “domestic” animal, even though some people try to turn them into one. There is no point in doing anything today. So you know I am not judging you, I will not do anything about it except writing this text.

Two reasons why pangolins are in danger are people eating their meat and people using their scales. I did not even know about that until I found a post of WWF in my Facebook feed today.

I’m not writing this in order to alert about pangolins, even though I am glad I can do that. I am writing this in order to alert about the existence of other animals in the world besides cats, dogs and other “domestic” animals. There are also cows, pigs, monkeys, lions, sharks, tunas, bees, flies. There are so many I would not be able to write them all down even if I wanted to.

Cats and dogs are not the only ones that suffer.